"THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN BODY LANGUAGE IS TO HEAR WHAT ISN'T BEING SAID…" (Peter Drucker – management consultant, educator and author)
I TRY to keep my gaze steady. Stop blinking so much, I tell myself silently, all the while attempting some semblance of composure in front of the gentleman seated opposite me at a newly opened French-style cafe in Damansara.
His eyes, trained directly on me, are unwavering in their scrutiny. Don't "read" me, I find another silent wail welling from somewhere deep within. This is the first time in my long career as a journalist that I'm finding myself feeling a little "unsettled".
"Thank you so much for agreeing to meet with me. I understand you must have been very busy," begins Jackson Yogarajah, his words, slow and precise, slicing into my scrambled thoughts. I squirm a little at his knowing tone, before acknowledging that it has indeed taken me a little longer than usual to be "pinned down" for this meet-up.
Around us, the lunchtime bustle has already begun, as people whizz frantically like ants under the midday sun in their search for food. Meanwhile, a companionable silence has descended between me and my interviewee as we both survey the scene before us in rapt interest.
A corporate trainer who specialises in body language and deception detection, Jackson is here with his daughter, Joanna, a solemn 28-year-old who is about to head to the United Kingdom for her Masters, and incidentally, has five self-published novels to her name. But that's a story for another day!
Her father, who was the only Malaysian to be invited to speak at the United Kingdom Centre for Forensic Neuroscience on the topic of deception detection back in 2005, recently published a book too, a labour of love which he started during the Covid-19 lockdown and took him six months to complete.
Entitled A to Z About Body Language, it's an interesting and comprehensive tome about how we can interpret the unspoken messages that accost us in our daily life. Part 2 will appeal to those who have been duped — or yet to be duped — and don't wish to be so ever again! Scammers, cheaters beware!
And of particular interest to me? A section on body language connection to the mysterious disappearance of MH370. There are also insightful chapters on "Why the FBI were wrongly trained in body language", "Tutankhamun and the Donald Trump gamma brainwave techniques", "Why court judges must sit behind bullet-proof see-through glasses", "The unreliable polygraph lie detector", "How to be a human lie detector", and more!
Jackson is also the author to five other books, including an intriguing one that explained deception detection skills to identify truthful behaviour when defending and vindicating the late legendary Malaysian singer, Datuk Sharifah Aini, from being charged in a court of law in 2004, called Breaking the Silence, 55 Reasons Why Sharifah Aini Was NOT Lying.
"The Sharifah Aini book was co-authored with the singer," shares Jackson, noting my curiosity. Adding, "I vindicated her. She didn't come to me and we didn't know each other before. We ended up spending hours on the phone until even my wife got jealous! This was in 2004."
VIBRATION OF THE CONSCIOUS AND SUB-CONSCIOUS
According to this earnest gentleman, body language isn't really a language. It's an oxymoron or a short description with two inappropriate words of what experts call non-verbal communication, or more correctly, non-linguistic communication.
It comprises seven groupings — visual (sight), audio (hearing), smell, touch, taste, balance and movement, as in qigong and yoga exercises, including the unconscious perception of movement and spatial orientation arising from stimuli within the body itself.
He goes on to add that our body is the vibration of the conscious and subconscious signalling of our attitudes, desires, and innermost feelings. "Body language delivers truths," writes Jackson in the introduction to his book, and understanding it — and using it accordingly — will come in useful.
"So, can you read what I'm thinking?" I tease Jackson as the ice is broken and I find myself slowly relaxing into conversational mode. A waitress arrives to serve our coffee and pastries before retreating gayly with a pleasant "enjoyyy". Formalities over, I find Jackson — and his initially reticent daughter — to be warm and talkative.
He chuckles uproariously, turning to his daughter seated next to him in bemusement. "He doesn't always switch on his 'radar' for reading people," she replies, her eyes gleaming mirthfully. "I'm not in reading mode," Jackson pipes in, before throwing me a reassuring grin, assuaging my initial feeling of trepidation.
"Phew" I reply in mock relief and our little group breaks into laughter — again. So, tell me about yourself, I begin with the ubiquitous intro, slowly taking a sip of my coffee.
INTUITIVE SCORPIO
Nodding happily, Jackson, who has trained corporate organisations on deception detection in the Netherlands, Indonesia, Brunei, the Philippines and Singapore, replies softly: "I started in sales selling insurance back in 1978 to 1995."
His eyes take on a faraway look when the Pahang-born Jackson rewinds back the years. "I'm originally from Kuala Lipis," he shares, before adding: "My father was a station master there, and my mum was a housewife. I'm the youngest of six (children). Growing up, I'd always been fascinated by psychology. I've always felt that if we can understand our brain better, we'd be able to relate to people better and understand ourselves better."
As a kid he was told that he was very intuitive, confides the Universiti Malaya (UM) graduate, before exclaiming: "I could read people! Anyway, I studied agri-engineering in UM but of course, what I pursued thereafter had nothing to do with what I studied!"
After completing his studies, Jackson, who's president of the Body Language Society of Malaysia (BLSM), went into missionary work. Suddenly launching into fluent Tagalog, he explains, upon noting my bewilderment, that he travelled to the Philippines often to speak to his congregations there. "I also read and write in Mandarin, and can speak it. Everything self-taught!"
He got into insurance and sales work initially to supplement his income so he could sustain his religious activities after university. The certified professional speaker eventually became a pioneer training moderator with the Malaysian Insurance Institute, before going on to teach body language as a skill to identify prospects.
"When I got into insurance, I was training my staff to detect body cues of interest," elaborates the earnest Scorpio, adding: "For example, how to make a person interested by reading the various non-verbal cues. Customers will always have their reasons for not wanting your product. So, if you know how to read them and know how to use your non-verbal communication skills, you can better convince them. Non-verbal communication was a very interesting part of my sales training."
And how did he learn about the intricacies of this complex subject? I ask.
"I remember searching high and low for books on this topic in libraries here back in the 1980s. But the subject was almost non-existent," recalls Jackson, continuing: "So, I eventually scoured the British Council library and discovered books by authors from Oxford University. I read everything that I could lay my hands on. The British writers were far more advanced in their American counterparts then."
Desmond Morris, the world-renowned British zoologist, ethologist and surreal painter, who was also known for his landmark study of human behaviour and evolution from his 1967 book, The Naked Ape, numbers among Jackson's favourite writers on the topic.
INTO THE DEEP
Asked what it was that propelled him to deep-dive into this study of human "language", Jackson replies: "Well, my interest in psychology is one, and I'm intrigued by non-verbal indicators. I don't like liars. As a religious person, truth and being truthful are important to me. It interests me to learn how to detect people who are lying. Even with clients, I can tell when they're not interested or otherwise."
According to body language expert Albert Mehrabian, another author that Jackson refers to in his writing, 93 per cent of all our communication is non-verbal. It seems that we communicate seven per cent with words, 33 per cent by tone of voice, while the remaining 55 per cent comprises physiology, gestures, postures, and breathing patterns, among others.
Casting a quick glance at his daughter, who'd hitherto been listening intently to her father's story, Jackson then shares: "You know, I always like to tell my daughter, do not assert with your mouth what your heart denies. This is actually a Taoist teaching from thousands of years ago."
In many cases, the dead-giveaways are in a person's facial expression — the micro-expressions that sometimes flit across someone's face and that's so difficult to catch by the untrained eye. Some people are good at being pokerfaced though, I point out to Jackson.
He merely nods before replying: "No matter how pokerfaced you are, it's still possible for indicators to leak. And that's why you need to be trained to spot these various indicators. That's what I do when I give training. I teach you the cues."
Asked how he's able to refine his "reading" skills, I'm taken by surprise when Jackson elicits a sigh. Shrugging his shoulders, he replies: "Well, I don't actually get a lot of opportunity to 'read' or question people — real time. I'm even offering myself for free to anyone who's going to have a conversation with a 'suspected' person and help point out the indicators."
For the time being, he polishes by watching forensic or crime shows on TV, confides Jackson, adding: "I like to engross myself in these kinds of programmes to see whether I can utilise, test and sharpen my knowledge. Incidentally, I'm also doing a three-day training course for Resorts World Genting, their casinos, specifically. I'm teaching them about casino surveillance."
Even though there's no dictionary of body language, it's still a great form of communication, believes Jackson. "It actually communicates louder, longer and larger than words. It's a vibrant form of communication that can be unclear, and yet is illuminating.
A to Z About Body Language
Author: Jackson Yogarajah
Publisher: JBL International
Available at all major bookstores like MPH, Kinokuniya and online at Shopee.