LETTERS: I have started my sabbatical and one of my own personal key performance indicators (KPI) is to explore real-life issues that adolescents are facing in school and home.
One that I keep on hearing is the cries of youngsters who keep repeating that they want to choose career A, but their parents want them to be B.
This has been happening since I was in secondary school decades ago.
Though my late mum allowed us, her children, to choose what we wanted to be or pursue what we were passionate about, my cousins and friends had similar issues of being asked to become what their parents wanted.
Such actions by parents might leave an adverse impact on their children. Not only that, but the children could be struggling to live up to their parents' expectations and pursuing a vocation that is not to their favour.
Some children feel obligated and will start learning to accept their parents' chosen vocation.
But others will feel bitter and angry because they wanted to pursue their passion so much, but had to give in to their parents' wishes.
One such individual shared with me that his parents said either pursue the vocation that they have chosen for him or he has to pay his own for the vocation that he wants to pursue.
In a world today with so many vocations to choose from, I personally feel that parents and children should sit together and discuss what the children are good at, what they are passionate about and what they would want to do for the rest of their lives.
If parents could not achieve a certain ambition during their lifetime, they should never force their children to live or fulfil their lifelong ambitions.
If both parents and children are on the same wavelength, then it is fine. If not, it will only cause unhappiness for the children in their future life.
I always remember what a great sage once said, "Children come through you, but they are not yours."
Basic common sense would enable us to understand that every individual has their own thoughts, likes and dislikes.
Thus, parents should never ask children to be what they could never be.
ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR DR VISHALACHE BALAKRISHNAN
Coordinator of SULAM@Service Learning, Universiti Malaya
The views expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect those of the New Straits Times