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KUALA LUMPUR: Is it a fish with an identity crisis, or a cross-dressing bird?
A video recently captured by a stunned angler has hooked the Internet, and netizens are fishing for clues as to what exactly the 38-second footage depicts.
The scaly star of the viral clip was caught in Guizhou, China and sports the (pretty hot) body of a two-feet-long freshwater fish, and the decidedly unglamorous head of a parrot.
My personal uninformed analysis was that it is a hipster ‘bish’ (bird + fish), which had defiantly rejected the rigid species identity norms imposed by the patriarchy.
The footage shows the gilled non-conformist seemingly gasping for air, but I imagined its jabbering mouth spilling a screed against the tyranny of cis-speciesism – its earnest voice is simply drowned out by the excited shrieks of the ‘hoomans’ surrounding it.
But according to the party-pooper Guizhou Urban Newspaper, the creature is just a grass carp with a deformed head (how boring).
A fisheries expert explained (probably in between yawns) that the deformity could have been the result of a genetic mutation, or a lack of oxygen.
In other words, it is literally just a fish out of water.
According to the report, out-of-whack Nemo was later released back into the water, to confuse future would-be anglers.
But the Daily Mail revealed that schools of netizens remain convinced that the “fish” is an unholy hybrid (the result of a dolphin and carp’s freaky one-night-stand); or a radioactive monstrosity; or an alien.
I’m guessing these people drink like fishes too.
Bottoms up!