KUALA LUMPUR: Macaques are the biggest trolls of the simian world, as countless residents of Malaysian suburbs and villages terrorised by the marauding primates can attest. Damn dirty apes… (Yes, monkeys aren’t apes – Charlton Heston missed the memo).
Opportunistic, violent and TOTALLY without class, menacing macaques roam our neighbourhoods like they own the place, twerking antagonistically at cowering ‘hoomans’ like they have a license to kill.
Well, this week, a career-criminal macaque in Bukit Jalil actually acquired a licence… of the car number plate variety.
A video clip uploaded to Facebook on Friday, and which has since gone apes**t viral, shows said macaque conducting monkey business on an epic level.
With three hoodlum accomplices keeping a lookout from a nearby tree, the off-duty cast member of The Planet of the Apes is first seen tugging on the front car number plate of a Perodua Bezza (which was minding its own business), in a parking lot somewhere in Bukit Jalil.
With just a few twists – and no monkey wrench, mind you – the plate detaches, and Donkey Kong triumphantly leaps away with the plate held high, before settling on the roof of the car as if readying to taunt the owner once he or she arrives (I’ve made a monkey out of you, ha ha!).
The disturbing ease with which the macaque commits his misdemeanour has left many vehicle-owning netizens troubled, wondering if their licence plates are now vulnerable to ‘gorilla’ warfare; and if traffic cops would believe their tale that Bubbles the Chimp is responsible for their denuded bumpers.
Other inquiring online minds were reduced to scratching their heads (and perhaps each other, like grooming monkeys) over what Curious George is now doing with his aluminium loot. Is the ‘VAS 1539’ plate now adorning his neck, like the oversized bling of a gangsta rapper? Or is it attached to a monkey bicycle used as a getaway vehicle in rubbish bin-ransacking outrages currently gripping Bukit Jalil?
A monkey’s CREATIVE licence allows for so many possibilities…